1. Murphy Never Would Have Used One
2. Murphy Would Have Loved Them

Bove's Theorem
The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

Brook's Law
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Canada Bill Jone's Motto
It's morally wrong to allow naive end users to keep their money.

Clarke's Third Law
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Deadline-Dan's Demon Demonstration
The higher the "higher-ups" are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

Deadline-Dan's Demon
Every task takes twice as long as you think it will take. If you double the time you think it will take, it will actually take four times as long.

Demian's Observation
There is always one item on the screen menu that is mislabeled and should read "ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE."

Dr. Caligari's Come-Back
A bad disk sector error occurs only after you've done several hours of work without performing a backup.

Estridge's Law
No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, Microsoft can redefine it.

Finagle's Rules:

1. To study an application best, understand it thorougly before you start.
2. Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.
3. Always draw your curves, then plot the reading.
4. In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.
5. Program results should always be reproducable. They should all fail in the same way.
6. Do not believe in miracles. Rely on them.

Franklin's Rule
Blessed is the end user who expects nothing, for s/he will not be disappointed.

Gilb's Laws of Unreliability

1. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
2. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
3. Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
4. Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.

Gummidge's Law
The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

Harp's Corollary to Estridge's Law
Your "IBM PC-compatible" computer grows more incompatible with every passing moment.

Heller's Law
The first myth of management is that it exists.

Hind's Law of Computer Programming

1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
2. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
3. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
4. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
5. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
6. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.
7. Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.

Hoare's Law of Large Programs
Inside every large program is a small program stuggling to get out.

The Last One's Law of Program Generators
A program generator creates programs that are more "buggy" than the program generator.

Meskimen's Law
There's never a time to do it right, but always time to do it over.

Murphy's Fouth Law
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics
Things get worse under pressure.

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules
The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Nixon's Theorem
The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

Nolan's Placebo
An once of image is worth a pound of performance.

Osborn's Law
Variables won't, constants aren't.

O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law
Murphy was an optimist.

Peer's Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem.

Rhode's Corollary to Hoare's Law
Inside every comples and unworkable program is a useful routine stuggling to be free.

Robert E. Lee's Truce
Judgement comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgement.

Sattinger's Law
It works better if you plug it in.

Shaw's Principle
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

SNAFU Equations

1. Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns.
2. An object or bit of information most needed will be least available.
3. Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible.
4. Interchangable devices won't.
5. In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else.
6. Badness comes in waves.

Thoreau's Theorems of Adaptation

1. After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure.
2. After designing a useful routine that gets around a familiar "bug" in the system, the system is revised, the "bug" is taken away, and you're left with a useless routine.
3. Efforts in improving a program's "user friendliness" invariably lead to work in improving user's "computer literacy."
4. That's not a "bug," that's a feature!

Weinberg's Corollary
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy.

Weinberg's Law
If builders built buildings the way programmers write programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Wood's Axiom
As soon as a still-to-be-finished computer task becomes a life-or-death situation, the power fails.

Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving System Dynamics
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.