The Assembly Language Programmer leaps tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a Cray XMP, has one wait state, is faster than a speeding bullet, walks on water, and gives policy to God.

The C Programmer leaps short buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a VAX 11/780, has a random number of wait states, is just as fast as a speeding bullet, walks on water if it is calm, and talks to God.

The Artificial Inteligence Expert leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable wind conditions, is almost as powerful as a Pentium, has one more wait state than last time, has a hard time keeping up with a speeding bullet, walks on water of an indoor pool, and talks to God if special request is approved.

The Programming Supervisor barely clears a quonset hut, knows what a Macintosh is, doesn't know how many wait states he has, can fire a speeding bullet, swims well and is occasionally addressed by God.

The dBASE Programmer makes high marks when trying to leap buildings, is confused by calculator manuals, doesn't know what wait states are, watches speeding bullets with envy, sometimes counts with his fingers without inflicting self injury, can dogpaddle in water, and talks to monitors.

The BASIC Programmer runs into buildings, recognizes a HP Calculator two out of three times, is issued a User's Guide, is always in a wait state, is still learning about speeding bullets, can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.

The End User falls over door sills when trying to enter buildings, says "Look at the computer," thinks "wait state" refers to the weight of the computer, uses white-out on the screen, can't be taught about speeding bullets, falls into mud puddles, and mumbles to himself.

The Company President lifts buildings and walks under them, kicks programmers off of their computers, has zero wait states, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them, can bring down the Internet with a single email, and freezes water or causes a parity error with a single glance.

THE COMPANY PRESIDENT IS GOD.